How To Get Your Toddler To Sleep In His Own Bed
I've always liked the idea of "co-sleeping", isn't it great to have someone who has been incubating in you for 9 months to be lying next to you in the deepest nights, now that the little sweet darling is born?
However, after 15months of co sharing a queen sized bed together with my husband and a boy who turns and toss and kicks me to the end of our bed leaving my pregnant bulging tummy hanging from the side, I decided it was time for my son to learn to sleep in his own bed. Either that or let's face it my husband or I will end up being banished from our queen sized bed instead!
It's definitely a time consuming task and encouraging your child to sleep in his or her own bed after so long can be quite a feat. But I guess all the efforts in the end will be well worth it. The thought of being able to toss and turn freely again and to not worry about having to wake him up or crush him drives me ahead!
But what is the best way to accomplish this?
I did my research and finally, through some trial-and-error, i decide these are the top tips I would like to share with you to help make that permanent transition of a child sleeping in his/her own bed easier:
- Decide when and establish Rules.
Decide when you and your child are ready. Establish the rule that your child will now sleep in his or her own bed and make no exceptions. - Make his or her room comfortable.
Make his or her room inviting enough for them to go to sleep in. If your child is old enough to make choices, let him or her decorate their bedroom or at the very least, choose their own bed sheets. The grand idea is to let your child love his or her own bedroom and of course, to want to spend time in it. - Choose a correct size bed.
I read in some books that some parents move their child to a single size bed as soon as a child graduates from the crib. For some children, that is fine, but others may feel intimidated or even threatened by its size depending on the child's nature. I guess toddler beds can provide a nice transition between crib and single. Some stores carry beautiful beds in the shape of a car or a dreamy castle, even i would love to sleep in a princess looking bed myself!
The general rule is to make sure your child can easily and safely get in and out of bed and feels comfortable in it. - Start small.
You may want to start trying by letting him or her sleep in their own bed first during naptimes and once you have succeeded; tackling the bedtimes. I feel that when you play or read a book in the day or have some nice activities in his bed during the day, it makes it even easier for him or her to start loving their own bed! - When you are ready, establish bedtime routines.
My son and I love to read and sing before bedtime. So our nightly routine goes like this: give him his cup of milk, get him changed into his PJs and then have his pearlies brushed. Say good night to everyone in the house, read a book in bed and say a prayer. You might not need to go through such an elaborate routine.
Some other bedtime routine that you may want to include are bedtime hugs and kisses, giving him or her their nighttime stuff toy, playing soothing music or even have a warm bath. If your child is potty trained, you might even want him or her to use the toilet before going to bed! The main idea is to establish a routine which he is accustomed to, that indicates to him that it’s time to sleep. Oh do remember to choose those quiet bedtime activities otherwise you might end up trying to put a hyperactive child to bed instead! - Don't lie down with your child.
Even if you do, only stay for a short period. You don't want him or her to think that you are going to lay down with him the entire night - Don’t weaken to crying or whining.
If your child wakes up in the middle of the night, go to their room to check out on them and once they fall asleep, go back to your room again. Don't succumb to sleeping in their bed! If your little ones come crawling back to your bedroom, walk them back to their room again, please don't let him or her end up snuggling next to you! - Patience.
The most important idea of transition-Be patient and firm and don't give up! You know you will succeed!
After about 2 weeks, we succeeded; he now sleeps in his own bed through the night, now as soon as he is safe and sound in his own bed, I go back to my own and roll in it. Sometimes he still wakes up once in the middle of the night, which I attribute to those bedtime nightmares! I'll go to his room, calm him down make sure he goes back to his dreamland and then goes out of the room. My husband and I are definitely enjoying having our own space again but the funny thing is, for the first few weeks, I suffered from insomnia because I totally missed my son's hugs and warmth in the night! Gosh I am sure if he knew it, he would laugh and say, "Grow Up mummy!"
Written by – Ophelia Jennifer Tan (mother of 2)